


Reflections

by LilacPrince



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Insomnia, mention of nightmares but no specific details, self-reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:08:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacPrince/pseuds/LilacPrince
Summary: Takumi is awake longer than he should, and asks too much of his tea.
Kudos: 12





	Reflections

The aroma of the warm tea washed against his nose, intertwining with the night air carrying the heat from the day that wrapped itself around Takumi. He was sitting in his room, in the door that opened out to the small castle garden. The world was dyed in the dark black and blue of the night, the clouds shrouding the sky and cooling the night down after the hot day. As Takumi glanced up at the sky, he was aware that he was one of the only ones awake in the castle. The sounds of the servants rushing through and going through their tasks had died down, the hallways seeming bigger now that they were empty of life. None of the guards were visible from Takumi's spot, and even though he knew they were there it wasn't difficult to imagine that he was the only one in the world at the moment. Not even Hinata and Oboro were there with their loud chatting and bickering, with their distractions and energy.

He was alone.

Night time held the closest Takumi would ever come to calm. There was no one to prove himself to, no need to force a brave facade, no expectations to live up to. No one would ever know, would ever care, about what Takumi did right now. If he wanted to he could spend the rest of the night right here, looking at the clouds stride over the sky, and no one would ever know as long as he settled into bed right before Hinata and Oboro came to wake him up. He had no eyes on him. He could let every wall and facade fall and just be himself.

But the silence was a double edged sword. While it carried the calm Takumi longed for, it also meant no distractions. There was nothing to focus his mind on. No sounds to distract him, nothing for his hands to do, there was nothing but silence. It was the moment when he couldn't hold off his thoughts anymore. When they forced themselves into his head, made him face them instead of running off and distracting himself.

It was then the sleeplessness came.

Yet perhaps this was still better than the nightmares. The insomnia was horrid enough on it's own, but even worse was when he finally fell asleep only to awake screaming from yet another horrible nightmare. So many times had he awoken to tears down his cheeks and the sheets drenched in sweat. So many times had he pressed his pillow to his face to stifle the sobs, too frightened to dare to try and fall asleep again and desperately hoping nobody had heard his screams. It was hard to figure out if the insomnia or the nightmares were worst.

WIth a soft sigh Takumi glanced down in his cup with disdain. This tea was supposed to help him fall asleep. He longed for sleep, wanted to disappear for a moment. He didn't want to have to think, to live in his own head. Wanted to not have to bear the burden of existing for just a moment. Just a moment of escape, of rest. But here he was, his eyes forced open by his thoughts, the worry and pain that gnawed in him, the restlessness that kept him up. He wanted all his issues, his insecurities and self-hatred resolved so he could fall asleep for once, and to not be awakened by nightmares.

Perhaps that was indeed a little too much to ask for of a cup of tea.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are highly appreciated.


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